1.40pmtoday go to school for the CIP thing. tired now. but was quite fun.went drawing again yesterday and today. later i think i'll go revise something. forgot quite alot of things teacher teaches last semester. :(too bad monday's a holiday. i want go for art lessons!!! miss 3 art lessons on monday. T.Tdone this just now. i just hate drawing boys. so ugly. =.=
done two yesterday night.
9.45pmi'm so happy that i'm listening to japan songs again. ( don't know why so happy though)found Samurai X songs. surprisingly, i still remember the lyrics and songs. it's a long time since i listen to Samurai X's songs. about 3 years? a nice anime. maybe going to watch it again. and don't forget RAVE also. Haru, "Elie-chan!" LOL. i miss those animes i watched.getting excited over anime things again. =.= but, i don't have much time for all these. still have not revise my work. sigh. sigh. sigh. T.Ti don't know why i stoped watching anime this few years. i was a freak in anime stuffs when i'm primary 4? still remember when i was in primary school the first thing to talk with Shi Ping is " have you watched yesterday's Samurai X and Rave? ... ..." (as last time AXN showed those animes)i miss my primary school friends and teachers. i tried contacting Mrs Soo (miss yeo) but still end up with nothing. i asked people that knew her but no one can tell me her contact number. i still have her e-mail but i think she changed a new one a long time ago. last time i saw her was when i'm in sec 1. She was together with Mrs Teo as they went to my sec school for attachment or something. i was so excited that time. LOL. i really want to see her again. i have so much to talk to her. i still have the gifts and letters she gave. i treasure those memories. she's really a great teacher. i wonder how she's doing now...
1:37 PM
S.H.E - 借口
LOL. that fake jay really look alike.
well, today projects spoilt my day again. still have to go back school tomorrow. =.=
5:34 PM
THE PROJECTS ARE KILLING ME!ARGH.someone please hlp us.other group members are relaxing and here, we're rushing for the projects.WTH.my eyes hurts now.don't know how long i've been staring at the computer screen.i'm tired.i have not even eat and do my homework.well, i'll stop complaning now.got to complete them as fast as we can.I WANT TO REST!!!!!
8:21 PM
today damn tired.maybe is caused by the running during P.E and staying back do project.took height and weight today.still, i have not grown taller. =.=i'm still short.never mind.i don't care about height anyway.what i care now is SLEEP.but it's already about 7pm now.
don't know what time will wake up if i sleep now.so decided not to sleep.
luckily tomorrow school starts late. can sleep more.
later going to study abit of that chemistry teacher told us to.oh ya.our class took this year's class photo today.i'm
not very sastisfied with it.guess not so well taken.well, i want to see it anyway.no drawings today.not free.no mood. +.+
6:39 PM
*done this yesterday*
first day of school after holidays.quite relax as don't have much lessons except for one or two.
spent the free lessons drawing again.
find art lessons more interesting this term as we're learning digital art.
yesterday when i lie on bed i miss 'someone' beside me.
i cried because of that.
sigh. i regreted so much that i threw baobei away.
i just hope that i can get it back somehow.
really.
i want my sweetie back also...
it's just a soft toy but it carries alot of memories of us.
maybe some people can find me stupid.
it's not the same if i buy another one.
i'm just too rush last time.
just throw him like that.
now i regreted so much i threw it away.
hais...
5:09 PM
tomorrow gona go back to school again. gona wake up early again.friday went to sis house again to bake cookies! yum yumm. so nice. (: min, ah si, sis and me made the cookies into alot of different shapes and sizes. so funny. forgot to take pics of the cookies i made. only manage to take one. but i'm not going to let you all see. damn funny!went back home form sis house yesterday evening. then at midnight i went drawing again. use some comics for reference. i hate drawing the hands and legs. so most of my drawings only focus on the head. =.=
i tried colouring the hair. seems like i spoilt it.
5:00 PM
today's friday. school gona reopen next week. i just wish time can pass faster to next week. i want to go back to school. at home i kept thinking alot. i don't like it.yesterday i force myself to sleep late again. i know i lie on bed i also can't sleep. if i can't sleep, i will think alot. if i think alot, i will cry. so, i spent my time reading books and draw. went to sleep at around 4.30ami have'nt drawn manga a long long time. i found that piece which i drew last last year, Sora from kingdom hearts. what a tough time finding it cause i thought i lost it. i can't draw another piece of that again. the first piece is still the best. if there's abit of shading in it will be better.
done this two y'dae.
i like this one. only draw a small part of it though.
2:38 PM
a deep scar you left in my heart, i'll never forget.
it just needs time to heal. but i don't know how long it will take.
like what you say, "God fucked my life by letting me love you, once."
maybe you did'nt even love me before.
well, everythings over.
now i know i can't over trust people.
family and friends are still the best.
no more relationships till i'm REALLY mature enough.
i had learnt a lesson.
but it let me hurt so much. so so much.
i'll be strong.
maybe in the first place i should'nt put in so much in this relationship.
now i finally see the truth side of you.
gonna focus on my studies now.
i'm so slack during this holidays.
there are still alot of people who cares about me.
i can't let them disappoint anymore. no more.
try not to think so much.
even if this did'nt happen that day, it will still happen someday. and it will be more hurtful.
maybe now you're very happy. sastisfied.
but i don't care anymore.
we're nothing now.
you jut lost a girl that treasures you and love you so much until she was blinded by you that's all.
and i lost someone that cheats me.
good luck with all your other relationships.
you will regret losing me someday.
i will still keep this blog skin as a goodbye gift from you.
only this.
other's will be gone. all gone. into the rubbish bin.
12:53 PM
you know what day is tomorrow? what a gift you gave me.nothing much to talk about it.all you do is scold scold scold.never even think of how i feel.I'M YOUR TOY! YOUR DOG! OK?! FAIR ENOUGH?!this song really suit my feelings. really really.
5:31 PM
things are just getting worse.i think too much. i think too much. i think too much.i need a brain wash. REALLY.
3:11 PM
went to celebrate min's birthday yesterday. on the way back heard on radio in the car that xiaozhu and jolin won the 「觀眾票選最受歡迎男（團體) ,女歌手（團體）」獎. congrates. (:
nothing much to post.
just wish min happy birthday.
happy fathers' day.
2:49 PM
"爱也有个度，超过了这个度， 爱可以伤人。"
When Your Gone-Avril Lavigne
another moody day for me.
everything been so different from this week onwards.
I WANT BACK THE OLD TIMES!!!!!!! this is driving me crazy.
my brain abit twisted nowadays. my head hurts! ARGH!!!!!!
12:35 PM
yesterday i did'nt sleep early also. maybe to "early". around 4am again. tried to finish my chinese homework but i'm not sure what the question is asking about, so i just do the first part. i dreamt of xiaozhu and xiaogui again. last time is dreamt about watching jolin's concert with them and party boys. now is ... ... i don't wana say. is damn funny. so weird dreamt about them. but it's better then nightmares. i still remember them in my mind.went to borrow books today. i read finish one. going for the second and i'm gona sleep late today again. i don't feel like sleeping. or shall i say i can't sleep? just feel that i'm just wasting my time laying on the bed staring the wall. why don't use this time to do some things? it also distract me from thinking other things. i had already tried my best not to think so much.thanks for the concern ShuXian. i'm really glad to have you to share my problems with.i don't know why but i like to do homework/revise at night. i'm weird. i know. my gastric pains coming to haunt me again. i feel abit of the pain now. gona suffer tonight again.you're not lonely. there are always people around you that concern about you. hope you get back to the way you are. i want the old you back. SMILE. ( maybe i should consider saying this to myself too...)
11:37 PM
i can't sleep yesterday. stayed awake till around 4am. play with the palm top. read finish one whole book to keep me from thinking other things. felt restless today as i woke up around 9am. i did'nt have enough sleep but i pull myself up. i don't want go back to sleep. i'm i torturing myself?my head hurts. my heart hurts, my stomach hurts. i have my gastric pain again. they really hurts me. i can't sit properly. i think i can't sleep today also. i feel hurt. i want to escape. escape from the dark side of mine.
10:25 AM
sometimes, i want things to turn out the way i wanted.i want things to be much more simple.alot of things still not solve in my heart.sometimes i don't want to speak out so that i won't hurt other people's feelings.but here i am, still hurting other people's feelings.yes, no one can stop me from doing anything that i wanted.but can i stop people from doing?i have a boring life.i'm always feeling that all the things are being repeated over and over again.no matter what i have done, it's always wrong.i don't bear to see people being miserable because of me.it's like thousands of knifes piercing in my heart.i'm useless.what can i do besides hiding at one corner crying?crying won't solve the problem. i know.but i really can't stop them.my results.how much hard work i put in, in other people's mind, it's just crap.even a friend i can rely on says those cruel things.can't you just say anything better then hurting me?can you consider other people's feelings?you have some strong points better then me too.everyone does.but did i say anyting?don't be so proud of yourself.i know you always thinks that you are the best.but all of us have strong and weak points.face it, my friend.i'm not in a mood to smile now.i just want peace and quiet.i want to shout out all my problems.i don't want anyone to hear it.i don't want people to say any comments.i just hope that there's someone i can really rely on...
10:19 PM
SHE & 飛輪海- 謝謝你的溫柔SHE - 好心情 (Just be yourself)
2:22 PM
recently, i have no time for xiaozhu's things. but hearing he is coming here to held his concert, i'm SUPER happy! XDD gona save money for alot of things. hope he's really coming this year. i gona grab the ticket for the front seat and watch his concert. YAY!well this year i had really grown up alot. thinking more mature then last time. after all those problems, i know how important is this word "trust" means to me. thanks for trusting me so much. although we're not like last time's relationship, but at least we can still be as friends and go out once in a while. at least we can still see each other...
3:30 PM
aww. i can't sleep well yesterday cause i can't sleep. =.= laying on bed thinking alot of things. i get up and took a book to read do distract myself from thinking so much. around 4.30am then i finally fell asleep. my panda eyes are getting darker. haha. =p
1:30 PM
went to watch Shrek 3 today with sis, gor gor, ah si and min min. the movie was funny but not as funny as Shrek 1 and 2. i love donkey and shrek babys. they just look so CUTE! (: tired after watching movie but still not going to sleep yet. don't feel like sleeping now. =pah si looks like donkey when he acts cute in this picture. ROFL. XDD
11:59 PM
9:47 PM
#29.08.1992 
